Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

Do You Go To Bed Mad?

on February 4, 2013


Everyone has disagreements when  in a relationship.  We’re human and it is inevitable. Even June and Ward Cleaver would disagree.  Shocking, but true!

One of my mother’s pearls of wisdom when I was younger was the old “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath!”  In my younger years, I totally ignored that advice.

Unresolved arguments before sundown usually resulted in my plopping down in bed; mad as hell!   I would lay there, going over whatever petty issue I had with my man and just stew.  I would think about all the things I should have said and the many reasons that I was right and he was just dead wrong.

As he lay in bed next to me, I would roll over to the very edge of the bed (sometimes rolling off) and listen to him softly snoring.  His ignorance of just how mad I was would just add fuel to the fire!  How could he ignore my cold stares, my tossing and my turning, my inability to sleep until he apologized? But, exhaustion would win and I would nod off eventually. In the morning, I would wake up exhausted and look like I’d been on a three-day bender.

As I grew older, I realized that this “Don’t go to bed mad” advice might have something to it.  Since I felt I was the only one paying the price, I had to come up with a new approach to ending arguments before slipping into bed.  We adopted a “Lets agree to disagree” policy which consisted of an agreement that we would postpone discussing the subject until the morning.  We would kiss each other goodnight and even get some cuddling in.

After a good night’s sleep, we are usually much more clear-headed and willing to listen to the other’s views, or wonder what we were making a big stink about in the first place.

I haven’t rolled off the bed in years due to this approach.  So, Mom, I guess you were right!

Do you go to bed mad? 

7 responses to “Do You Go To Bed Mad?

  1. yourothermotherhere says:

    See? Sometimes mothers do know best!

  2. John says:

    We have the same rule here. I learned it from my mom.

    Don’t go to bed, or leave the house mad, Don’t go to sleep, or leave the house without saying “I Love You.

    Part of it, like you say, is to give things a chance to cool down. The other part, which mom was always big on, was that you never know when it was someone’s time to go to the big clouds in the sky, and you wouldn’t want your last words to be anything other than “I Love You.”

  3. TamrahJo says:

    Nope – never have – stayed up drinkin’ coffee and chain smoking and writing my tell all book – that’ll show him! and by 3:00 a.m. – you don’t have the energy to be mad no more…..:>)

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