Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

To Tat Or Not To Tat

on March 29, 2013

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I confess, Cranky has a tattoo!  I had it done for my 40th birthday (just a year or two ago 🙂 ) and I like my tattoo.  It’s small, it’s on my upper chest and I can hide it when I want.  I went to a reputable Tattoo Parlor; I did my research and checked that only sterile needles were used and found the process not as painful as the horror stories I had listened to over the years.

Do I regret having Ink permanently imbedded in my skin?  Sometimes.  If I have to choose a fancy dress for a formal occasion, I have to pick one that covers the tat.  My SO spent 22 years in the Navy and he’s unmarked (as long as you don’t count the wrinkles) so he kids me about mine.  I just give him the “Whatever” look and that usually ends the ribbing.  But, all in all, I really don’t have a problem with wearing it.

Some people are not so lucky.  Due to bad planning, a bad artist or an abundance of alcohol, some people make lifelong mistakes in their tattoo choices.  Let me give you a few examples and tell you where they might have gone wrong in their designs!

There are two things to look for when you chose a Tattoo Artist who is going to do your tat.  The first is to make sure they know how to spell. (I imagine that this poor girl regrets not shopping around for an artist that graduated grammer school!)

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The second absolutely necessary qualification you should look for in your inker is the ability to actually draw!  This fellow is going to be really impressed when this tattoo is complete!  I think she went to that Art School by Mail!

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Not all tattoos are the fault of the artist.  They do exactly what the customer requests..and it winds up being a train wreck!  Some people just simply have bad taste and don’t mind letting the world know it!

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One of the new trends in tattoos is to bring in a photograph and have the artist duplicate it on your body.  These usually don’t qualify for the “Is It Real Or Is It Memorex” debate.  We all love our kids, but bringing in a photo and expecting your tat to come out looking like your child are pretty slim.

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And you might want to stick with the pictures that the photographer took at your wedding.

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Another new trend is for the bald men or one’s who prefer shaving their heads instead of a daily combing, to decorate their bare pates in a novel way.  Anybody hungry?

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And I don’t think this dude knows if he’s coming or going.

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  Now, you can (based on the talent of the 2nd tat artist) rectify some of the mistakes that were made on your original tattoo.  Unfortunately, this customer picked an artist who thought they were an editor redacting a novel!

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So, what’s my advice to those who are getting their first tattoo?  Make sure you know the qualifications of your artist (ask for references and pictures of their work). Make sure it’s a reputable tattoo parlor and that they practice safe, clean tattooing.  And,  make sure you choose wisely in the design of your tattoo.  Remember, most of the time, tattoos are a lifetime commitment, no buyers remorse allowed!

What advice would I give to my granddaughter if she asks whether she should get a tattoo?  I’ll smile, lean over and whisper in her ear, “ASK YOUR MOTHER!”

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20 responses to “To Tat Or Not To Tat

  1. Hilarious!! I got the Chinese symbol for Integrity on my upper back and when IO told my 50 year old mum why I was getting it, with a tear in her eye, she asked me to take her to get the same thing!!
    I’ll never forget the image of her sitting in the tat studio with a big, hairy bike looking artist, talking tattoos.

    • Yea, your Mom rocks! I wrote the post because my tattoo has faded over time (I’ve had it more than a few years…20 years to be exact) and I’ve been thinking about getting it colored again. Well, one thing led to another and my post was born.

      What a great memory of time spent with your Mom! Thanks for reading!

  2. kerbey says:

    I love eggs, but they look positively awful on the top of his head.

  3. Basharr says:

    AWESOME, My wife has over 30 Tats, she is lucky to be married to a man who can draw and can sling ink. I myself have a number but my favorite is a Batman that goes from my hip to my knee I drew it and did it myself which actually takes a little getting used to. By all means get yours colored again ink has come a long way in the last 20 years. You also offer sound advice on seeking out the right person to do your inking. I tattooed from the time I was 18 until I was about 37, diabetes then decided my eye sight should fade a bit so I don’t do much work anymore.I still have my equipment but only because my wife does not want me to sell it.

  4. keladelaide says:

    I have the Egyptian Isis on my shoulder blade. I got it in my 20’s with $50 my nan had sent in a card for my birthday. Like you, I did my homework, but to this day Nan still doesn’t know.

  5. Bastet says:

    I’ve always been scared that getting a tatoo might hurt…would have loved a chinese symbol for happiness or such…but….so I contented myself when I turned fifty (11 years ago) to have my nose pierced! Lovely and funny article as usual… 🙂

    • Hey, we’re only a year apart in age! I think tattoos hurt worse when put in areas where there’s not too much fat; like around the ankles. I remember flinching the first time I felt the needle; then I relaxed and it wasn’t bad at all.

      My tat has a small flower and a hummingbird; if it hurt too much, trust me, I’d have run for the hills.

      Won’t we be the envy of the AARP Group? 🙂

      • Bastet says:

        Well I’ll keep that in mind if I should ever decide to get a tatoo…but the ankle is so fascinating! Yep, looks like we’re about the same age! As i always say, you’ve got to think young to feel young (or is it the other way ’round)… 😉

  6. johnlmalone says:

    I’ve sometimes thought of getting a tattoo esp since so many at the gym have them but they are so much younger so i’M NOT going to bother; besides if I did I would not know what to get a tattoo of 🙂

    • Hey, your a poet! Take one of you favorite lines and have them tat that on an appropriate area! Just think, if you’ve got a birthmark on your back, you could have “Out damn spot, Out!” put over the top of it! Makes it part of the scene! Just saying! 🙂

  7. joehoover says:

    So cool, I have a dragon, I received comments from people saying I would regret it when I’m older, I’m glad you have none and are even thinking of having it re-inked. I think we have more to worry about in life than a tattoo, so no regrets, or even regets! 🙂 In a shameless link to my blog – but only so I can show you the tattoo: http://london-survival.com/2012/01/20/my-thailand-tattoo/

  8. Sallyann says:

    Hey, any chance we might get a peep of said tattoo ? 🙂
    A close-up maybe, tastefully taken of course. 🙂

  9. btg5885 says:

    Watching the NCAA basketball tourney redefines the meaning of “playing in the paint” as it no longer means playing between the free throw line and basketball. Some have taken their tats to an extreme point. My thesis is a tat is like a bumper sticker. If it has too many words to be read in time for the light change, it may be overkill. Love the old farts in the comic pane. BTG

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