Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

We Lost A Child

on April 1, 2013

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Carli Daley – Rest In Peace

Once again, I have found that we have lost a child.  Fifteen year old Carli Daley; tired of the bullying, tired of being called names, tired of being pointed at, took her own life.

She was a child who was just starting high school, a child who was filled with potential: she was possibly the one who would discover a cure for cancer as a researcher; she might have become a doctor who saved countless lives, she might have become one of the people responsible for finally achieving peace throughout the land.

We will never know.  And now, Carli will join other children who felt they had no more reason to live; no further energy to fight the constant bullying; no one to comfort them and tell them it’s all right to be different.

How do we stop from losing any more children?  As parents, the initial help for these children must come from us.  Bullys are never going to dissapear..they have always existed and, although we wish the world would change and accept people who are different; it’s not going to happen in our lifetime.  So, how do we protect our children…how do we save their lives?

TALK TO YOUR CHILD

Talk about their day in school.  Ask them about their friends.  Look for the warning signs that your child is depressed or lonely.  Talk to them about bullys…how it’s wrong to “tease” their classmates.  And, let your child know they are loved and supported at home.  Open up those lines of communication between you and your children.  Don’t let them suffer alone; if they are being bullied or are depressed, get them help from outside sources, such as school counselors or a therapist.

TALK TO YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS

Find out if they have initiated a Anti-Bullying Campaign in your kids school.  If they haven’t, find out why.  Don’t take the excuse that they don’t see the need.  Don’t let them wait until it’s too late for another child.

GET PROACTIVE

Don’t sit on the sidelines and feel grateful that your child is accepted by their peers.  Reach out and get involved in a Anti-Bully program and get your kids involved too.  Hook your child into one of the Internet Sites that support children that are being bullied.  Get them involved in solving the problem and learning of ways to prevent perhaps the loss of one of their friends.

The children in our world will define our future.  If we keep losing them, because they were different, we risk losing the changes these children might have made in our future.  Let’s pull together and try to save them.

I’m not an expert, the above advice is just given from my common-sense and my heart.  I’m sure there are many other ways to help your child if they are being bullied or to save another child from ending their life before it has even started.  You are more than welcome to add them to the comments in this post and then reblog or share with others. Let’s pull together and stop pretending this problem is just going to go away.

Here is one site that is dedicated to supporting our children and giving them peers to talk with, to relate to and to get information on how to get pro-active.

You Are Never Alone – Y.A.N.A. – This website was created by two teenagers who wanted to help those who, like themselves, were bullied for being “different”.  They are reaching out with support and love.  They offer information and help-line numbers, both in the U.S. and overseas; and they publish inspirational messages that are aimed at preventing suicide among their peers.  If you’re looking for a website that your child can relate to, I highly recommend this one.

Let’s not lose another child like Carli.  Let’s not lose another piece of our future.  Let’s let our children know that we care.

“Differences are a gift, not a mistake!”

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16 responses to “We Lost A Child

  1. Basharr says:

    This poor poor child did not deserve to be treated like she was and I would say more than God Bless her but will not allow my language to desecrate your blog.

  2. keladelaide says:

    ‘Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes in it to drain it dry.’ -Alan Price

  3. Great post! As the grandma of four, this is always on my mind.

  4. johnlmalone says:

    as a grandfather of four young ones, bullying is an issue I am concerned about. So far, all seems good on that front but one has to keep listening for signs; my heart goes out to the poor parents and grandparents and siblings and, of course, the poor child herself who must have suffered horribly in the weeks and months before

    • Thanks for reading John. As parents and grandparents we need to be vigilant every day in order to protect our children. Bullying has become rampant and we have to find a way to end it!

  5. btg5885 says:

    This breaks my heart, especially as a father of three. Your words of wisdom ring very true. My daughter is still a sophomore in high school and she likes to walk to the beat of a different drummer. We love her eclectic nature, which means she needs to have a thick skin, be tone deaf to taunters and/ or have a good sense of humor. She does. Yet, back in 8th grade there were moments of concern. A counselor told us “8th graders are not very nice people, especially the girls.” We had a friend who removed her daughter from the school as she was ostracized online. Parents, teachers, principals, volunteers and kids need to not tolerate bullying of any nature. Thanks for sharing this heart-wrenching story. BTG

    • I dread next year as my granddaughter enters 8th grade. I’m so afraid my happy go lucky girl could change overnight. But, I know my daughter, she’ll be watching for the signs.

      Thanks so much for reading.

  6. Laura says:

    Sometimes…..there just aren’t enough rocks…..

  7. Thank you for posting this.

  8. Bethy Inukihaagana says:

    It will be 2 Years in 3 months since she died.. We were close in 7th grade. I guess no matter what I will never run out of tears for her. It feels like just yesterday I was at her candle lighting.

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