Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

Don’t Feed Those Squirrels!

on April 4, 2013

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You’re sitting in your yard when that cute, bushy tailed creature slowly and cautiously walks your way.  Little nose tweaking, tiny paws clasped together, you watch as the adorable little squirrel grabs the peanut you just threw his way.  He stuffs it in his chubby little cheeks and turns his wide, brown eyes your direction as if to beg for another one.  “How cute,” you might exclaim.

We too were taken in by these fuzzy rascals.  We bought huge bags of peanuts and we religiously scattered them about.  We smiled and felt good about feeding them;  it made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  They would scamper hither and thither; entertaining us with their wild and crazy antics while we sipped lemonade and watched from our porch swing.
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After feeding the one squirrel for a couple of day, we started to notice more and more of his little buddies joining him.  As their tiny little troops grew..and grew..and grew in numbers and size, we decided to stop feeding their voracious appetites as it was getting expensive to feed the whole tribe.  They didn’t take it lightly; they declared war on us.

So, now we live in a battle zone; always on the outlook for those furry warriors who attack when we least expect it!

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They roam our attic, they raid our garden and they chew up the potted plants. They chew on our attic ducts and they drive their sharp nails into our pool screen, ripping it to shreds.

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They have a sentry guarding the small house Danny had built for them during peace time.  The house that used to be stuffed with peanuts is now stuffed with banana peels and other refuse they have captured on their midnight raids in our garbage pails.

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We ran a mission to remove the house in the hopes that if we took away their command center, they would find another yard to in which to wage their war.  We discovered they had received advance word of our plans; we barely escaped with our lives!

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After our failed mission, the nasty buggers called in their buddies from the Air Patrol.  Danny and I each have war wounds on our head from these flying bombers; patches of our hair have turned up missing in action!

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Finally, we surrendered.  We keep their little center filled with peanuts, cashews and walnuts.  But, they haven’t forgotten our little skirmish.  They are vigilant and always prepared to take up arms should we become slack in our duties.

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So, unless you are willing to feed these vicious varmints for the rest of your lives, I suggest you never start feeding them.  It’s not pretty when you stop..not pretty at all.

Just saying!

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19 responses to “Don’t Feed Those Squirrels!

  1. We had a similar problem when we started to feed our children’s friends

  2. Funny! and very creative! And I thought I was doing good to write a poem about soup today (posting tomorrow on http://www.mypoeticspirit.wordpress.com).~Mary

  3. mewhoami says:

    I am guilty of this. My husband and I have had “pet” squirrels for a couple of years now. You are absolutely right in the fact that once you feed one, it does not take long for word to get out to the rest of their friends and family. We now have four that we feed on a regular basis. One in particular has learned to knock (aka climb all over) on our screen door when he wants more peanuts. He’s found that this gets our attention rather quickly. I agree – either plan on feeding them for life or don’t feed them at all.

  4. Bastet says:

    Wow! And we thought we had problems with pigeons…due to some movies back in the 50s where people were always feeding those lovely birds bread crumbs, millions of tourists did the ritual feeding of an ever growing mass of flying envaders…soon, we had a national infestation of the darned birds…monuments started melting under their guano, they invaded the roof tops and made their nests in any attic they good get themselves into, not to talk about window sills, where they’d sit and drop they bombs on unwary passersby. You couldn’t sit at a sidewalk caffe without being surrounded…when a national epidemic of salmonella hit Italy, the various public administrations started taking the issue in hand, and now the population of, pidgeons are finally more manageable….a few years back, a bottled water company did a publicity campaign…a famous footballer (soccer player) sat at a caffè and a sparrow flew onto dis table and ate some bread crumbs and then had a drink of water from his glass, real cute…guess what happened…. >°<

    • Don’t get me wrong. We sometimes also get the pidgeon attacks..I have a red car and some bird with an attitude has to dump on it every day! Love the history and the story! 🙂

  5. They love to chew on the grandkids’ play structure and sand box–what a mess they have made! The birds don’t know about sharing either. I have planted enough blueberry bushes for all of us, but they want all of it! I love all my wild creatures, but you are right, they can be stinkers.

  6. btg5885 says:

    Well, at least you will have fewer snakes. For some reason, snakes are scared off by the squrirrels. Good pictures. Take care, BTG

  7. Wow, ever knew about that! I used to have a pet squirrel when I was a kid. Sadly, it got eaten by a rogue cat. Good thing is, we didn’t have too many squirrels around to start a cat-squirrel feud!

  8. Cranky, those photos are hilarious!

  9. In answer to the blue droppings from the blueberries–yes, they do leave droppings of blue. But, it kind of goes with the red from the cherry tree and raspberries. Now that I think of it, droppings are very colorful in my yard.

  10. andshelaughs says:

    Living next to a city park has advantages. Squirrels that are fed by visitors are not one of those advantages because they dig up my flowers to hide their winter stash. Squirrels have become the enemy!!! They’re so bold here that they cling to the patio door screen wanting to get inside to eat breakfast.

  11. pardenme says:

    Bravo Cranky! The pictures are absolutely perfect. I am reminded of a mama squirrel who learned to climb onto my lap for her peanuts. Those nails are like needles, but she was always a gentle little girl. One day we came home to find her on the kitchen counter, elbow deep in my son’s chocolate birthday cake. She had broken in via the window screen and helped herself to the goodies. Oh, what memories you bring to mind today. Thank you. Truly, I needed that laugh today.

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