Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

A Call From Louie

on May 14, 2013


Transcript of call received at 3:05 at WordPress Support Group.

“Hello, this is Matt of WordPress can I help you?”

“Hey, yeah, this is Louis Damato.  I need to talk you guys about a problem that has recently been brought to my attention.”

“Well, how can I help you, Mr. Damato?”

“First of all, amigo, my friends call me Louie..Louie the Fish and it’s not my’s our problem.  Capice?”

“Ah, sure, Louie.  What’s our problem?”

“Well, see, I just left from a visit with my boss, Big Frank Marconi, and my understanding of the situation is that you have caused him great distress!”

“We certainly don’t want that, Louie.  What is ah..Big Frank distressed about.”

“Well, here’s the story.  Big Frank is currently a guest of the Federal Government and he has a lot of time on his hands.  So, he tells me that he has been doing something called ‘blogging’ and has found great enjoyment in spending time writing what he calls these ‘posts.’  And, whatever makes the boss happy, makes the whole organization happy.  You with me so far?”

“Yes, we have many people from many walks of life here on WordPress.  But, I still don’t see the problem.”

“Hold on, buddy..I’m getting to it.  Anyways, I go see Big Frank today and he is upset.  Now, in our organization, we find it very unhealthy to have our boss upset, so I asks him, ‘Hey Big Frank!  What’s up?'”

“He tells me that you guys have never picked one of his posts for the Freshly Dressed section.”

“Excuse me, Louie, do you mean Freshly Pressed?”

“Yeah, yeah..that’s the one.  Now, me?  I don’t know nuthin about this blogging business; my job is to run the organization while the boss is away and to make sure he’s happy.  So, I ask him, ‘Big I can help?’  And, ya know what he tells me, Matt?  He tells me that seeing one of his posts on this Fresh Messed column would give him great satisfaction.”

“Well, Louie, let me explain.  The Freshly Pressed section of our web site is for those articles we pick that are well written and are entertaining for our readers.  Not everyone can be selected; we have over half a million writers to choose from and we only pick eight each day.”

“Hold on there, buddy.  You saying Big Franks posts aren’t worthy of being picked by youse guys?”

“No, no.  I’m just saying that it might take time for one of Mr.  Marconi’s post to be selected.  Some writers have been posting for years and have yet to be selected.”

“Oh, o.k. Matt.  I’m getting the message here, loud and clear.  So, how many large is it going to take to have you people pick one of Big Frank’s posts?  Name your price, amigo. I’m a fair man, I’ll be willing to go as high as five grand to put that smile back on the boss’s face.  It’s a win/win situation, you get the large and I look good for making Big Frank happy.  We got a deal?”

“I’m sorry, Louie, but you can’t buy your way into the Freshly Pressed section.  But, I’ll tell you what I’ll do.  I’ll bring up Big Frank’s blog site and take a peek.  If I find a post that fits into the section, I’ll bring it to the staff’s attention for review.”

“Now, that’s what I’m talking about!  Thanks, Matt!  I knew we could work this out mano y mano!”

“No promises, Louie.  Right?  I’m not gonna find a horse’s head in my bed if we can’t publish one of Big Frank’s posts, right?”

“Hey, buddy, who do you think we are..the Mob?”

“No, Louie, everyone knows there’s no such thing as the mob anymore.  So, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“Well, now that you mention it..there’s a friend of mine you guys haven’t noticed yet..her name is Cranky….”


26 responses to “A Call From Louie

  1. It will happen, its only a matter of time, I think there is a book in that little post, made me laugh out loud!

    • I almost put a little note to WordPress at the end explaining that I was only kidding with the post..but it just wouldn’t let me! I enjoyed writing it! Thanks for reading!

  2. tric says:

    I like my little blog. Somedays I think I’d like to have the recognition of freshly pressed,but not the after effects. Getting new followers and possibly many would make it way less personal. I’m not sure it would ever be the same.Enjoyed your take on it though!

  3. You’ve got a way with words girl!

  4. mummyshymz says:

    Lol! Don’t forget us when you’re famous!

  5. Della Law says:

    So that’s what freshly pressed is all about. A great post Cranky. Both entertaining and informative. I might try sending tear stained begging letters…

  6. Bastet says:

    Lol…I’ve read some posts where people rant because they have a “big” blog and never seen the inside of Freshly Messed or was that Dressed???? I’ve read some of the Freshly Pressed then gone back to look at the complainers blog…hmmmm…well…. great post, never laughed so much in my life. 😉 (Hmmm…by the way, if you could put a good word in for me with Louie)

  7. Great post. Everyone needs their goals. Now if only Ellen DeGeneres would write me back.

  8. btg5885 says:

    Where did you get the picture? This is priceless. Thanks for sharing. BTG

  9. keladelaide says:

    Freshly Stressed would be a good name for it.

  10. Carley says:

    Wow, this piece of writing is nice, my younger sister is analyzing
    these things, thus I am going to let know her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: