Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

The Devil Next Door

on May 20, 2013


Are you familiar with the old saying, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family?  Well, I’d like to point out they forgot an element; you also can’t pick your neighbors!

Danny and I bought the house we now live in over six years ago; we were enchanted by the pool area, complete with spa and fish pond.  A separate enclosed patio offered a sublime area for us to sit and relax while we enjoyed the great outdoors.  We put a deposit down and wondered why we were getting such a great deal on this beautiful home.

We soon found out that our visions of peacefully sitting on the patio, listening to the birds chirping and holding quiet conversations were not to be realized.  We had no idea that we had just moved next door to the devil himself.

Shortly after moving in, we were awoken to the sounds of a cement saw at seven a.m. If you haven’t heard one of those babies running; count your blessings. They sound like a million fingernails being scraped against a blackboard.  The hairs on your neck stand up and your ears are assaulted by a screeching loud enough to make those ears ring for hours afterwards.

Six years later, we are still rudely awakened by this horrible racket, not every day, but often enough to make us dread the oncoming dawns.  The word around the neighborhood is that our guy next door is a serious sculptor; although, we have never seen a completed piece of his artistic endeavors.

When we tried to convince the devil to perhaps delay his activities with the saw from hell at least until the sun was completely up; he grinned and said his creative juices start flowing when he got up and he had to strike while the irons were hot.

We checked with the Property Association and inquired about the noise restrictions and were advised that our neighbor had bought his house prior to being a deed restricted neighborhood, so he was “grandfathered in.”  This confirmed our suspicions that our neighbor had been torturing the previous residents of our home since the beginning of time.

So, here we are, stuck in hell until either property values make it worth our while to sell without taking a tremendous loss or until our neighbor grows too old to run that damn saw.  We don’t wish him ill; we just wish he would stop.

So my advice to you my friends, is to check out your neighbors before that dream house you buy turns into the a nightmare in hell!


28 responses to “The Devil Next Door

  1. Kelly says:

    We don’t have a cement saw problem, but shortly after moving into our first home, we had to rebuild a fence with one of our neighbors. Worse experience ever. When we told him we wanted the boards to overlap enough so you couldn’t see into the other yard he asked, “What kind of kinky stuff are you going to be doing to need that much privacy?” And that was just the beginning…I’m sorry you have to deal with that terrible noise!

  2. Gwen says:

    Oh, Crank that sucks. I guess we lucked out in the neighbor department. I will certainly count my blessings.

  3. aj vosse says:

    It may be time for a wee party at his house… make sure the cake you send is well lit with candles… dynamite candles… 😉

  4. That’s a shame. Have you tried becoming friends? Maybe he does this to get attention. I had that with a motorcycle neighbor and by just being nice to him (not really friends) he became more considerate. He acts up from time to time, but he’s better. Sometimes you have to figure out how to play their game, but sometimes nothing works.

    • The man is not bad personally, just clueless on how to treat his neighbors. We’ve gently suggested working in another area of his property; guess we weren’t graphic enough on where we’d love to put his cement saw!

  5. Recently I have been listening to what will be temporary noise. They tore down a motel across the street from me, and have already finished that up. The end of last week, the gas pumps across the alley were torn out . . . the banging I couldn’t figure out at the time. And today, another motel across the street is tacky, tacky, tacky getting a new roof. Soon, I will just be back to traffic noise 🙂

  6. btg5885 says:

    Two thoughts on Early Rising Cement Mixer. Take him some fresh donuts and coffee when he starts up, give him one, but say I will give you the whole box if you wil just delay your start until after 9 am. Each time you feel inclined, call me and I will give you a new dozen. You will kill him with kindness and make him feel so sluggard he can’t move.

    Or, a variation is to find out what he really likes to drink and give him a bottle of it the night before. He will sleep in.

    If that doesn’t work, then set up chairs to watch him work. Drink mimosas while he is slaving away. Of course, wear good ear plugs. Toast his good health.

  7. mummyshymz says:

    Perhaps you could ask him where he gets his ear plugs, because they seem to work better than yours 🙂

  8. Bastet says:

    So sorry…that is good advice though…know something about devils myself! Well, at least we are lucky about the laws here as concerns noise…they’re retroactive and enforced! Unfortunately, I understand the guy…juices flowing in the morning that is…I’m just so happy my computer is quiet and dosen’t disturb anyone. Maybe the neighbors could make a collection and sonorize his workshop 😉

    • I’m usually awake in the early a.m., but the bear hibernates until 8. He’s not a morning person and when he is awoken early, it’s not pretty! But, you’ve given me an idea; since I’m up around 4 a.m. perhaps I’ll go out and run my lawnmower under the devil’s bedroom window!

      I won’t mow, I’ll just let it run! 🙂

  9. keladelaide says:

    Gives new meaning to love thy neighbour.

  10. mcwoman says:

    We live in a house that is surrounded on two sides by cemeteries. Great neighbors! The one to the west who doesn’t like my dog, not so much.

  11. andshelaughs says:

    Does your neighbor like fireworks. I’m thinking nightly just about half hour after his lights go out. Entertain him 😉

  12. […] for the planting of some new shrubs we bought.  These shrubs are to eventually block our view of “The Devil Next Door.”  I advised him to wait until tomorrow and he agreed and walked out of the house and picked up a […]

  13. Rosemarie says:

    Oh, yes, I have had several neighbors from the nether world. Comprendo. Thanks for following my Europe blog. I am enjoying visiting yours.

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