Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

Putting A Little Porn In Your Posts

on May 29, 2013

tumblr_inline_mhykghUWeq1qz4rgp

What?  Has Cranky lost her mind?

Let me explain myself before I find myself with zero followers.  I am definitely not recommending that you start a porn site on WordPress.  For one thing, I’m sure it’s not allowed.  For the second thing, I’M SURE IT’S NOT ALLOWED!  So, before I get knee deep in shocked comments…listen to this.

I checked my stats the other day and used WordPress’s most excellent option to find just which of my posts received the most views since I started posting.  Lo, and behold, my post about “Grannies In Porn” was number one on the hit list.

Now the piece I wrote was modest, sedate and chaste.  Nothing sexual, nothing arousing and definitely no graphic pictures or descriptions.  An innocent little piece asking why the hell Grandmas would pose for porn sites.  If you doubt me, just click here.

I did some further research and found that WordPress readers were only responsible for a small percentage of the views.  (I was still pretty new on the block).  These readers felt safe in reading this post since WORDPRESS DOES NOT ALLOW PORN! (Just a little reminder.)

The rest were viewed by people seeking porn sites using a search engine.  They would find my piece, not only because of the title, but my tag included the word “porn.”  Some even specifically used the search term “Grannie Porn.”

That makes me laugh..a lot.  I can just picture people searching for Bubblicious, Buxom Grandmas who entice voyeurs to enter their site for a good time.  Instead, they get a grandma wondering why women her age would even consider entering the porn industry.  I’m sure they slink away in disappointment and return to their search.

Before I publish this..I’m definitely going to tag it with the word Porn in case the title doesn’t grab them.  I want to see how many search terms sends them to this post…it’s fun to watch!

So, if you want more views, put the word “Porn” in your title or in your tag.  Then, sit back and enjoy the show.

Advertisements

52 responses to “Putting A Little Porn In Your Posts

  1. amberskyef says:

    I suppose I should tag all my posts as porn then, even though my website doesn’t use the word ‘porn’ anywhere on it. 😛

  2. Interesting! Be careful …you may get more than you bargained for …Grandma!

  3. helensamia says:

    Lol .. That’s the new tag from now on!!!!

  4. dmauldin53 says:

    That is hilarious! 🙂

  5. I had a fantastic response when I put B.D.S.M in the title. I only get more responses when I hand out awards and bloggers want to see if their name is there. . . Does that make us egotistical nymphomaniacs? Bet your glasses have steamed up Cranky . . 🙂

  6. btg5885 says:

    You saucy little Grandma, you. All the best on your “endeavors.” BTG

  7. tric says:

    I follow a blogger who tags all her posts with the most ridiculous tags that often have nothing to do with her post. I love looking at them it’s like reading comments I never know what to expect.

  8. This is why you are so loveable 🙂

  9. Cranky, this is so funny. I’m not brave enough to put the word “porn” in my posts or tags.

  10. mummyshymz says:

    Lol! I don’t think I’ll ever put that tag. But it’s definitely interesting to know what brings people to your site!

  11. Mmmh, not so sure. By all means use attractive weird tags but don’t go overboard on ‘porn’. Before you know it your domain name will be added in the spam filters and good and honest folks won’t be able to read your posts anymore. I can’t be 100% sure but I wouldn’t risk it.

  12. aj vosse says:

    Spot on! I have a similar title that attracts hits all year round. I think it called something along the lines of … ‘My (nude) Model.” The model in question is my own son. The photo? His foot! I actually added the word (nude), yes, in brackets to see what reaction I will get… maybe I should substitute it for the word (porn) to grow my numbers!! 😉

  13. Gwen says:

    Crank, you are always good for a laugh. A writing teacher once told me sex and violence will vamp up any story. It’s the stuff that sells…or attracts blog readers in your case. Granny porn? Ew.

    • Oh yeah. If you read the original piece…I stumbled on a ton of sites advertising “Hot Grandmas.” I was too chicken to go into one and definitely afraid of a virus.

      Glad you like it!

  14. TamrahJo says:

    Caulking for beginners is still my most search-engine referred post – maybe those in porn world don’t know how to properly spell the other caulk – –
    LOL
    Top search phrase “how to get caulk off your hands” – – ROFL – whole new perspective on why it’s the most popular….

  15. ioniamartin says:

    I wonder how many spam emails will be a direct result? We could have a contest to see who gets the most lol

  16. JayNine says:

    Dear Grandma, lol lol lol, thank you for the chuckles! Maybe this is my new mode to discovery for my blog 😉 cheers!

  17. jengolightly says:

    The first pattern in crochet I ever attempted was Japanese. They are really very clever. I have spent way too much money on these books!

  18. Bastet says:

    Ha! Maybe your reader are ok with sex etc. but I made the mistake of writing this title: Short Story: —– ‘Erotic Experience’, not only was it one of the least read stories I’ve written lately, but I told a blogging friend I was talking to that as he’d really gotten me giggling, I’d like to see him giggle to and recommended my story that I’ just published…didn’t hear from the guy for almost two weeks…I’m afraid he thought I was trying to seduce him or something….no no…chaste titles for me from now on…most of my readers seem to be a bit prudish!

    • Well, as I said..most of the views came from search engines so my readers weren’t disappointed by what they read..they didn’t expect anything really racy.

      Now, you know I’m going to have to search down that short story…:)

      • Bastet says:

        I was chatting in Italian and was about to send you a message in that language! I think you might have read it, it’s original Title was something like the Shoplifter and the Director…now it has the racier title…can you believe it someone commented and said she’d always been on the catching side never a shoplifter…strange comment.

      • Sounds like she was a store cop who caught shoplifters!

      • Bastet says:

        yeah and sounded like she thought she should have put me in handcuffs too…shiver!

  19. Bastet says:

    I said all that with a giggle and a smile, just forgot to write it, sometimes I forget 🙂

  20. Lori says:

    Oh, shoot and I thought this was a place i could post nekkid photos of myself! I just figured i would need to duct tape my boobs back in place, and tape all the wrinkly skin behind my back before i did. Oh well, I’ll keep looking then lol

  21. Sahm King says:

    You know I have to try this, now. Lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: