Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

I’m Melting…I’m Melting!

on July 27, 2013


Yeah, I’m melting and I deserve it.  Remind me to keep my big mouth shut!

A few  weeks ago, I happened to mention to Danny this year’s summer season didn’t seem quite as hot and humid as other years.  We were getting a lot of rain and thunderstorms which kept the temperatures down and the humidity away during most of the day.  I was in heaven.  I hate the heat and humidity.

So, once I shot off my big mouth, Mother Nature whipped out her sizzling stick and now, it’s hot here…so hot!  I got up this morning and it was 83 degrees at 4:30 a.m and the weatherman predicts the “feel like” temps to be in the three digit range.  No breeze, no relief from the humidity, no hope of cooler temperatures until October.  No wonder I’m melting!

Danny is impervious to the heat…or so he’d like me to think!  He spends a lot of time out in the yard, sweating and sucking down lemonade while he performs lawn maintenance for hours.  I watch him from the window with the air conditioning blowing out it’s life sustaining air and wonder how he tolerates the high temps without passing out.  He claims that it’s not that hot and that I’m just a wimp!

He thinks that I don’t notice that he’s standing in a pool of sweat as he’s peeling off the fourth tee shirt of the day.   Not that hot, my butt!


If you want to know how hot it is here in Florida, turn your oven on for an hour or so at 500 degrees then open the door.  Feel that blast of heat?  Well, that’s how it feels when you open your door here.  You get in your car and the steering wheel chuckles as it sears your hands; forget your shoes and walk barefoot on the driveway and you’ll find yourself doing the Funky Chicken in two seconds flat.

Now, I realize that I have no right to gripe.  I’ve seen temperatures rise across the country equal to the boiling heat here but somehow, I don’t care.  I’m hot, I’m grouchy and I’m ready for fall.  And, those people don’t seem to mind the summer since their winters are so cruel.


But, here in Florida, our winters are what we look forward to all summer long.  I’ve lived here long enough to qualify as a Damn Yankee (one who stays and stays and stays) and the coldest temps I’ve ever seen during the winter are in the 30’s and 40’s, and that’s just in the morning.  Afternoons usually reach the 70’s and that ain’t bad, folks.

On the other side of the coin, due to the extreme sweltering and my refusal to step foot outside until we’re totally out of food, I’ve had no distractions from my writing and have been quite productive over the last week.  If you’re curious what I’ve been up to, take a slide over to “A Dream Come True” and get an update.  Also, I have cut down on my smoking because I have to smoke outside, so I’m saving some bucks during this long hot summer.

But, I’ve had enough.  I want those cool breezes they promised me when I moved to Florida.  I want the water in my pool to be less than 98 degrees when I plunge in and I want to work in the yard without having 911 preset on my cell phone.

woman at pool

Of course, I’d also like to look as slim and beautiful as the woman in the picture, but that ain’t gonna happen soon either!

So, to cheer myself up, I’m adding the counter widget to this site so I can count down the days until October 15th, which is when by some mysterious weather switch, the humidity starts to leave and the air outside becomes breathable again.  This way, with an end in sight, perhaps I can tolerate the heat a little better and not be so Cranky!  Yeah, right…like that’s gonna happen.

Anyway, I hope you’re all finding a cool spot to sit and enjoy your summer!  As for me, I’M MELTING!




25 responses to “I’m Melting…I’m Melting!

  1. bittygirl51 says:

    Ha! I can relate…but more to your hubby then to you. I moved to E. Texas from North Dakota 15 years ago. Within a year I had married a Texas man. He grew up in the heat! He hates the heat and I like it! He wallks out in it and burns to a crisp! I, on the other hand, tan to a beautiful, golden brown.

    When I moved here I envisioned buying a cute little “Southern cottage” and opening all the windows and blinds and letting the sunshine in. Instead, I met and married a “polar bear”…his nickname after I realized he wants the blinds and windows closed and cranks the thermostat down to 69!! Brrrrr….

    Even post-menopause I’m still freezing most of the time and am thinking those below 0 temps of the frozen North tundra that I grew up with aren’t all that bad! At least it’s a dryer cold. Here, when it begins to rain…I get chilled!

    Sorry to hear you are melting, but remember the best chocolate is the kind that slowly melts ie; disintegrates in your mouth. LOL

    P.S. My baby brother recently moved from Florida to Wyoming. Big change in climate and lifestyle. He loves it!

    • M E McMahon says:

      Hmmm…Wyoming! Sounds wonder your brother moved. And yes, you’d get along quite well with Danny…but I melt at the thought of heat never mind exposing myself to it!

      Loved your comments!

  2. Great post! Earlier this morning, it was about 80 degrees. It’s raining at present so that ought to cool us down a little. I’ve done that chicken dance a few times on my driveway too. I often open all the car doors to “cool” off the car before stepping in it. Of course, there were times when I had to run out to close the doors because an unexpected shower came down.

    I just love your count down to cooler weather:-)

  3. Bastet says:

    Darn you! I knew that SOMEONE had to have mentioned that the weather was too unseasonally low…I did jigs everytime one of my friends started that tune, warning them that Ma Nature take people too literally…pant…pant…by Ra! We don’t use much AC in Italy…energy costs a lot in Europe, so, I’m in my easy-chair…over-head fax on max…my floor fan pointed fixedly on me as the heat and the humidity melts the blacktop in our “cool mountain lake resort…” hope the tourists are happy. Thanks for th humoristic relief!

    • M E McMahon says:

      Damn, I read your comment correcting fax to fan first and it spoiled my intentions of riding on that gaffe! Anyway, it’s probably too hot to needle people. And yes, I am the one who had to open my pie hole and jinx all of us…mea culpa. Tell those tourists that it’s tradition to walk on the blacktop bare foot and take pictures!

      Should provide some comic “relief” from the heat! 🙂

      • Bastet says:

        I think basically it’s more THEIR fault than yours…up in the “tundra” of Germany they were spitting nails in their newspapers because “sunny Italy” had a very very long wet spring…some damn French weatherman had the “gaul ” to saythat this year there would be no summer in Europe…I’m thinking of looking for him and rolling him in the blacktop goo and feathering him…a chorus of “oh no!” went up and everyone was moaning…hope they’re happy now!
        But that could be a great prompt on Bastet’s Pixelventures…tourist walking on hot blacktop bare foot….oooo, you are absolutely a genius! 😉

      • Bastet says:

        🙂 you always do.

      • M E McMahon says:

        I haven’t forgotten about you and your questions..just been really hectic. I hope to get to them in the next few days…after all, I’m like Horton the elephant..I never forget..well, maybe sometimes!

  4. Bastet says:

    Hummmm…no, before you ask, I don’t have an overhead fax…that should have been, fan…using my netbook, typos assured!

  5. grannyK says:

    It’s pretty hot here, too, in the triple digits most days. I’m glad we don’t have the humidity you get, though! Still, with no A/C in the house, it gets in the lower 90’s in the house and that is kind of Stay cranky! It helps! I practice that and it really does work.

    • M E McMahon says:

      Oh..I was born Cranky so I don’t think there’s gonna be a change there! No A/C just boggles my do you survive? I guess without the humidity it’s better..but I would think I’d still be melting! 🙂

  6. tric says:

    We are off to Spain tomorrow. I am paying a fortune to swim in the pool and sea and sit in an A/C apartment! If I had to live in such heat I think I would die!

  7. btg5885 says:

    Born and raised in FL, but I am glad I live where there are four seasons. I was down on business a few years back and a colleague from our Tampa office and I were traveling to business meetings together. I asked him how he does it. He said “I stay in my car with the A/C running for as long as I can then I go inside quickly right before the meeting.” That was his way of not melting beforehand. Later gator, BTG

    • M E McMahon says:

      I’m orginally from N.England and at times I miss the four seasons..especially fall. And your friend is right. We run ..not walk..from A/C to A/C just to survive these summers! 🙂

  8. JayNine says:

    I swear, my family had less empathy for me n my LOs before we got our AC–we didnt have one and the beginning of our summer was intolerable! Some strange reason just now, temperatures have cooled. I am so grateful. Cranky, i soo sympathize with you–humidity: forget it! I crept to my moters basement with my kids to sleep a number of nights this year. And, everyday theres humidity, i BARK ALL DAY LONG. It just changes me? !! I cant stan it.
    I will go check out the flip side of the coin on a Dream Come True and send you xoxo’s and buckets of ice in your shorts,
    Love your Canadian
    Girls, Jeanine 😉 –LOVE the LAST photo lmao

  9. mcwoman says:

    Greetings “frozen tundra” of Wisconsin! After a week in the 90’s, Ma Nature hearing our weather whining, she has gone to the extreme of Fall-like temperatures in the 60’s and low 70’s. For July that’s just too chilly, but much more pleasant than the heat index over 100. I’d be with you in the A/C, Mary Ellen, enjoying a nice cold beverage!

  10. Patty O says:

    And…greetings from northern Minnesota! Your winters sound heavenly (much better than our -20 below in Jan/Feb)…however we were down in your neck of the woods 2 years ago in August and puddled! We were doing the family Disney vacation along with taking in the Harry Potter-land. At least in Disney they had places for you to stand in the shade. Unfortunately in Harry Potter-land there was NO WHERE! AND…my family being the big fan they are, HAD to wait in line for the “big” ride that goes through the castle. 2 1/2 hours later we made it on the ride…less than 5 minutes later it was over! Talk about feeling crabby!?! I’m not even a big fan, but being the dutiful Mom/Wife I smiled….underneath whispering those swear words that shouldn’t be said out loud! (I wrote a blog about those bad words just the other day!)

    Stay in the cool air – I certainly would!

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