Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

The Big Unexpected Visitor

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I’ve had unexpected visitors before and normally, I would welcome them with open arms.  Some visitors call ahead to see if it’s a good time to visit while others feel comfortable enough to just drop in.  I usually enjoy the break from my everyday routine and enjoy their company.  Today, however, I was not amused.

I was sitting on the lanai (patio…porch..whatever) after opening the back screen door to allow Buddy to go out to do his..ahem..doggie duty when a huge bird flew in the door.  I watched in horror as the white plumed dive bomber headed for the pool screen (which ain’t cheap to replace, my friends.)  Before I could shoo it back out the door, it slammed into the screen, bounced off and landed on it’s two feet.

Dazed, it ruffled it’s feathers and then took wing once more, and went back out the way it flew in. Danny had been working in the yard on the side of the house that had just been attacked and asked what that big boom was that he had heard.

“A bird flew in and hit the screen.”

“What was it, a sparrow?” Danny asked.

“Think bigger.” I answered.

“A crow?”

“Think bigger.”

“What the hell was it?”  I think my man was tired of guessing.

“Think Big Bird and you’d be close.”

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“Yeah, right.  Did it do any damage to the screen?”

Hmm…I thought about downplaying the size of the hole, but the man’s not blind. “Yeah, there’s a small hole from where his beak hit it.”

Well, Danny took one look at the screen and said, “That’s what you call a small hole?  I could fit a torpedo through that gap.”  Well, I’d told him it was a big bird, hadn’t I?

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“Oh, don’t exaggerate.” I said. “I’m going to go out and make sure the bird’s not injured.”  I grabbed my camera in case the feathered fink wanted to file a lawsuit for injuries sustained.  I found the culprit alive and well and prancing around our front lawn.

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I watched as the bird with no navigational skills was joined by his buddies and I swear I could hear them chuckling.  I began to suspect that this was no accident.  I could imagine how the caper all went down.

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“Hey, Harry.  Bet you don’t have the beak to fly in that big Aviary and do some damage.”

“But..but, there are two humans in there and some kind of really scary furry thing with four feet.”

“What are you?  A bird or a mouse?  C’mon..I double Dawg Dare You!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not chicken.  You just follow my tail feathers!”

So, Harry did his danger filled fly by and purposely put the hole in the screen with his sharp, curved beak.  After making a clean escape, he flew off to tell his friends that he had really earned his wings.

I hope Harry’s proud of himself!  I’ll be keeping an eye out and a closed screen door from now on for any repeat performances from Harry, the big dirty bird!

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The Woman Of His Dreams

I took Papi Z’s prompt and had a great time writing this!

A Dream Come True

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I looked up and there she was, the woman of my dreams, buying a ticket for the last show of the evening.

I straightened my tie, brushed a hand through my hair and prayed to the Gods above that she loved popcorn.  Standing behind the concession stand, with shaking hands and my hormones raging, I silently whispered, “please, please, please come over here.”

She looked like Angelina Jolie with her silky midnight black hair reaching down to land on the top of a most awesome derriere.  Her pale, green blouse was buttoned just enough to satisfy the censors but low enough to stir any man’s loins. The long thin strap of a black purse crisscrossed her ample breasts and a gossamer black scarf was wrapped around her perfectly tapered neck like a gentle caress. She wore a short black skirt, slit on both sides under which her long, perfectly shaped…

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Paying It Forward Wednesday – 7/17/13

It’s Pay It Forward Wednesday!

A Dream Come True

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This weeks “Paying It Forward” post  is going to involve saying “Thanks” to more than one blogger.  One of my favorite sites actually consists of the efforts and talents of four very gifted people.

The site is “We Drink Because We’re Poets” and when I’m looking for inspiration…this is my Go To First site.  And, they never let me down.  Three of their prompts led me to write three fictional short stories…and each one has been accepted for publication. They suceeded in making me think “out of the box” and I can’t thank them enough.

Don’t let the title of the site fool you.  This site embraces all the arts: photography, poetry, art, writing and they promote all of them on this site!

Let me introduce you to the crew of “We Drink Because We’re Poets“.  Ladies first!

Georgia – Bastet and Sekhmet – First, (and she…

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When Silence Is Golden

When’s your magic time to write?

A Dream Come True

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I get up early..very early.  Sometimes, dawn will be hours away, but I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down at my laptop.  This is when I do my best writing, when the house is silent and I can only hear the voice of my muse.

I treasure those hours, for it is when I do my best work.  It is when I can write my most poignant and soulful pieces.  In the quiet of the early hours, I am free to dig deep and pull out emotions that I don’t let others see.

I know that many writers feel inspired when they play music while they write.  I’ve tried, but I just can’t do it.  I love music, of all kinds, but not when I’m trying to get those feelings into words.  For that, I need silence. I need the private time, time I can spend with my…

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The Perfect Pets

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I was at a neighbors house the other day, and I was delighted to hear the musical chirps of a bird.  Looking around, I located the beautiful gilded cage that a yellow bird called home.  Walking over, I took a closer look and found that the bird didn’t move much…it just turned it’s head and it’s tail wagged a little.

“What kind of bird is this?” I asked my neighbor. 518EW3PiL8L._SX385_

“Oh, that’s Perfect Polly!”

“It’s fake.”

“I know…that’s what makes it perfect.”

Okay, I get it.  The bird in the Expensive Cage is just eye candy..no heart, no feelings, no bird turds.  Whatever floats her boat, I thought.

She invited me into the dining room where I heard the soft sounds of snoring.  I look around for the source and there, on the floor in front of her fake fireplace, lay a stuffed puppy sleeping in a doggy bed that my puppy would give his eye teeth for.  I watched as the imposter’s body moved up and down with each snore.sleeping_breathing_stuffed_animals.jpg_200x200

Again, here was a pet with no heart, no feelings, but again there was no puppy poo. Hmmm.

As I pulled out a chair, I glanced up and noticed a mounted fish over her glass sliding doors that led to the patio.  Curious, I walked over and the damn fish turned and stared straight at me and started singing “Don’t Worry…Be Happy!”

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Well, at least the fish wasn’t floating in an expensive aquarium tank.  But, I was starting to get a little nervous.  All these fake pets made me wonder about these new neighbors.  I had yet to meet her husband and I started to wonder if she had met him at Macy’s.

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I looked around and noticed that, although they had just moved in a few days ago, the house was spotless.  The hardwood floors gleamed, not a fingerprint visible on the sliding glass doors and my butt slid on the waxed wooden dining room chair.  A sharp contrast to my house with paw prints leading from one room to another, doggy slobber on the glass doors and chew marks on the legs of the chairs.

My hostess walked into the dining room wearing a frilly snow white apron with not a stain in sight.  She smiled and asked if I would like to stay and have a cup of decaffeinated (of course) coffee and a slice of a freshly baked chocolate Bundt cake.  To be honest, all I could think of was I was in the home of a  Stepford Wife.

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I made my excuses, thanked her for her hospitality and made a quick exit.

Now, stuffed animals are neat, they’re cute and they don’t make a mess.  But, if I’m going to have pets,  I want to relate to them and get something back more than a pre-recorded chirp, yip or well…don’t get me started on the singing fish.  Pets are messy and most take a lot of time to maintain, train and excercise.  But in return, you get an animal that loves you unconditionally.  Try and get that from a Perfect Polly!

I ran walked home and opened the door.  My puppy gave me a big sloppy kiss, left mud on my pants from his roll in the yard and I couldn’t have been happier.

I may not have the perfect pet, but I’ll take my puppy with a beating heart, a soft loving nuzzle and a warm, wet nose any day.

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Check ME Out!

What a day! Still waiting for Retweet from the Pres. Read about it here!

A Dream Come True

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I have to make this quick; I’m waiting for a Retweet from Barack Obama.  What?  Oh yeah, I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see what will happen.  But, let me start at the beginning.

I returned home today from grocery shopping (my very least favorite thing to do) and found I had received an e-mail from Rachel, one of the editors of Totally For Women. She wanted to inform me that my article, “Different Sides–Same View”, had been published today on their site and when I dashed over to see it, I was seriously impressed.

They had done a beautiful layout for the article and I was amazed how professional the whole article looked.  They sure know how to present an eye-catching piece of work.  Thank you, Totally for Women!  You can take a view here and then do yourselves a favor and browse around at the…

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Stepping Away For A Closer Look

Some advice that is sometimes hard to follow but worth the time!

A Dream Come True

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You finished the short story.  You love what you wrote.  It’s everything you meant it to be.  You’ve dotted your i’s and crossed your t’s.  You find the right venue that your story fits into like a well-fitting glove.  What’s the next step?

You wait.  Yes, as hard as it is to believe, the best thing to do with that work is to set it aside for a few days, a week or at least long enough for you to be able to go back and look at it as a Reader, not a Writer.

You should always be the first Reader of your work and to do that you must separate yourself from the words long enough to be able to take a fresh look at what you’ve written.  You might be surprised at what you’ve missed, a hole in the story or a character that isn’t believable might…

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Update And A Thank You

Just want to make sure this gets to all the great bloggers that tried to help in a bad situation!

Grandma Says..

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I wanted to update you all on what’s been going on with the situation that I wrote about in my post “A Plea For Help.”

The young boy has been released from the hospital and is now with his mother.  The Grandparents have a lawyer seeking to remove the boyfriend from the home and the birth father is petioning for joint custody so he has a say in the care of the child.  The Grandparents are hoping that they will be able to petition the court to prevent the mother from leaving the state as they now fear that their daughter might bring the child out of this state’s jurisdiction.

So, legal issues are at play and in the hands of lawyers and the judicial system. Hopefully, a mutual agreement can be reached by all parties and that the child will be safe and get any help he needs.

I…

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Update And A Thank You

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I wanted to update you all on what’s been going on with the situation that I wrote about in my post “A Plea For Help.”

The young boy has been released from the hospital and is now with his mother.  The Grandparents have a lawyer seeking to remove the boyfriend from the home and the birth father is petioning for joint custody so he has a say in the care of the child.  The Grandparents are hoping that they will be able to petition the court to prevent the mother from leaving the state as they now fear that their daughter might bring the child out of this state’s jurisdiction.

So, legal issues are at play and in the hands of lawyers and the judicial system. Hopefully, a mutual agreement can be reached by all parties and that the child will be safe and get any help he needs.

I made a simple plea for help from my WordPress friends and the response was staggering.  All of your information and advice had been forwarded to the Grandparents and they want me to convey their heartfelt thanks for taking the time to offer support and encouragement.

I cannot thank you all enough.  I wish I could tell you how much it meant to me to realize that I have so many friends and that they truly wanted to help.  Each and every one of you holds a special place in my heart and I wish I could offer more than a simple Thank You.

Hopefully, the family situation will be resolved in the next month or so, but with the resources you all supplied and that the Grandparents followed up on, I believe a happy ending for all is possible.

So, again, Thank You for responding to my plea for help.

Love,

Mary Ellen McMahon

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Another excuse not to do my awards post!

Can this be a new and better trend in handling Awards?

My thoughts on a page.

I am a million miles behind on acknowledging awards,
and I am beginning to feel stressed about it.
Great bloggers were good enough to nominate me,
and what do they get back?photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevint/85911467/">kevinthoule</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
Nothing!
I have been trawling through comments,
trying to remember who gave me awards and when.
As I do I hear a voice in my head.
It is my mum saying,
“Why did you leave it to the last minute?”.
Well in this case I hear her saying,
“Why did you not do the Thank You post immediately?”.

I am still saying I will try to do that post someday,
but in the meantime I would like to do a different post.
Four bloggers I follow regularly are doing something similar,
and I think it is a wonderful idea.

Firstly I will tell you what they are doing,
and then I will tell you what I will do.

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