Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

A Nip And A Tuck..For Very Big Bucks!

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Yesterday, a friend.. relative.. Danny’s sister paid us a visit and informed us that she had an appointment for a free consultation with a LifeStyle Lift Clinic.  When I asked her why she would want a facelift at her ADVANCED age (I won’t tell how old she is…but I’m 62 and she’s four years older) she said she was tired of the wrinkles.  She claimed that when she called for the consultation that the woman told her it was VERY affordable!

Instantly, images of Joan Rivers flashed in my mind with her bloated lips that now stretch from one ear to the other.  I asked how affordable is affordable and she said she felt it would be about $1500 for the wrinkles to go away.

I kept my big mouth shut and waited.  The next day, she returned with her wrinkles intact and a crestfallen look.

“So, Sis, how’d it go?” I asked.

“Don’t ask!” she mumbled.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the word simple and affordable seems to have a different meaning to the people at Lifestyle Lift than it does for me!”

As it turned out, the procedure that Debby Boone sings about in commercials is not so simple. After the surgery, you will look like Rocky Balboa for at least two weeks. During that time, you can’t lift, you can’t smile…hell, you can’t move your face! After your wrinkles become history, you also can’t gain weight or lose weight.

You get to go through all that for the paltry sum of $14,000!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for $14,000 you can take years off your face.  I wonder how it is that I don’t meet more senior citizens that have rushed over to Lifestyle Lift offices waving their savings books.

Hmmm…maybe they can think of a lot of things they could spend $14,000 on that doesn’t involve pain, weight restrictions and only has a five-year warranty (I guess after five years your face drops back down and you have to shell out another $14,000!)

To be honest, though, as my face and body has aged, the thought of having a little nip and tuck has crossed my mind a few times. Not any more!  I’ll live with the body that I’ve got and save $14,000…thank you very much!

Trying to cheer up Danny’s sister, I told her she didn’t need the procedure and that she was beautiful as she was. When that failed, I came up with another solution.

“Tell you what, Sis.  Just come over every few days and I’ll give you a free facelift…we’ll stretch the skin so that the wrinkles will just disappear!”

“How?” she asked.

“We’ll use Duct Tape!  We can buy a lot of duct tape for $14,000!”

Well, at least that got a chuckle out of her!

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Paying It Forward – 9/18/13

A special thank from M.E. and Cranky!

A Dream Come True

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Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been absent from WordPress for a few weeks. I had to rush my SO, Danny, to the hospital with a bleeding ulcer.  Since Danny takes Plavix, a blood thinner, this was especially dangerous since the potential for bleeding out was high.  Thankfully, the ulcer has been clipped and tamed and Danny is slowly recovering from this latest health scare.

I normally use this series to give thanks to a particular blogger who has touched my life during my journey in writing.  But, I’m going to take this opportunity to use this post to thank ALL the wonderful bloggers who offered Dan and I their love, support, prayers and encouragement during a very scary time.

I joined WordPress to see it anyone would read my work.  I never expected the warm, caring and supportive community that exists here in WordPress land.  I spent…

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Happy Birthday, Pamela

Let’s get together and wish Pamela a very Happy Birthday!

Legends of Windemere

Get the cake
And pile it high
Today is a birthday
So make it reach the sky
Add in some chocolate
And frosting flowers on the edge
Tier it to help those in need
Make sure that part is gluten free
Write her name on every side
I think this poem has lost its rhyme
Light the candles
And prepare for heat
The firemen are in the street
So everyone dig in and gorge
Happy Birthday, Pamela
This poem would end better if your name was George

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Breaking News…Cranky’s Back!

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Yes, my friends, after a long period of silence, I’m finally able to jump back into my “other” life here on WordPress.  And, oh, how I have missed being here.  But, the days of my turning a wistful eye towards my laptop are over for now and I hope that it will be a long time before I am dragged out of my WP world again!

An update on Danny…the surgery proved successful but Danny’s recovery has been slow…very slow.  His spirits have been a little on the down side since this was the second life-threatening illness in the past 16 months.  I can’t blame the guy for being scared.  But, I spend each day pointing out even the smallest improvement in his health and assuring him that he will improve even more as time goes by.

Of course, we now have a slew of doctor’s appointments for follow-up care and medication changes that have occurred.  Danny still has a lot of health issues (Hepatitis C, a damaged liver and now this damn ulcer) but I assure him that I’m in this for the long haul and he won’t be facing these challenges alone.  I love the guy and want to not only keep him around but want to make sure that whatever time we have left together is spent looking at the beauty and the humor in the world around us.  After all, that’s the best medicine you can give to someone like Danny!  When I can put a smile on his face or comfort him when he’s down…then I know I’m doing what’s right for him.

I can not begin to thank all of you for the thoughts, prayers and good energy you sent our way during this difficult time.  There are no words to express how much that meant to me but the tears in my eyes might give you some insight into how touched I was to read all your comments!

So, although a large part of my day is still spent on Danny’s care; I hope to be able to spend time daily keeping up with all your adventures and sharing some of mine.

I want to end this with a kernel of wisdom that I have gleaned from going through these health events with Danny.  There is no promise of tomorrow, so please, make sure that your time spent with your friends and loved ones is filled with laughs, love and hugs.

Again, thanks for all your love, support and well wishes.  But, be warned, Cranky is back!  And she’s got a lot to say!

Love,

Cranky

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Doing The Hospital Hop

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Hi everybody…finally got away from the hospital long enough to send a short note.  Saturday Danny woke up violently ill and I had to rush him to the Emergency Room.  Tests showed a bleeding ulcer and since he is on blood thinners…it was very serious indeed.  But, I’m happy to report that surgery stopped the leak and he is now recuperating nicely.  We hope that all stays well so he can come home tomorrow.

Naturally, I have been at his side since Saturday and have had no time to post…but, once things are settled, I’ll catch up with you all!

Hope you are all well and you’ll hear from me soon!  Got lots to tell y’all when I come back!

Love,

Cranky

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Premature Post Phenomenon

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Yesterday, I started a post for the WordPress Award.  Somehow, someway, somebody pushed the Publish button instead of the Save Draft.  Consequently, the stupid post went to the reader bearing only a title and a picture of the award.

The worst part of the situation is that I wasn’t aware of what happened right away.  While I was busy collecting nominee names, comments and likes started coming in for a post that I didn’t even know went out to the public!  I hurried over and marked it trash (easy to trash when there was hardly any work done on it).

I want to apoligize to anyone who took the time to put a Like or Comment on the post…and I sincerely hope that when I get the post finished…you will take a second look.  I have a great list of nominees ready but will be unable to complete the post until this weekend.

So, mea culpa and I hope you all have a great Friday!

Cranky

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Paying It Forward Wednesday – 09/04/13

Meant to get this out yesterday…but life interferred! Check out this awesome blogger!

A Dream Come True

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I first started dipping my pen into the blogging waters back in January of this year. Excited, I designed my page and wrote a post…then I waited and hoped that someone would read this newcomer’s words.  To my delight, it’s wasn’t long before a wonderful blogger not only read and liked my piece, she actually commented on it. What a wonderful feeling it was to know that I was now welcome in the WordPress family and the first blogger to open the door to the possibilities of blogging was Aurora.

Aurora’s site, Metal Angel, is full of her writings about her family and her wonderful fantasy stories. She is a young mom, living through the harsh economic times with a husband and wee son. She struggles daily with trying to provide the daily needs of her family and shares her frustration and successes with the rest of us.

Many…

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The Answers, My Friend

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First I have to apologize for not getting to this post sooner.  A dear, sweet blogging buddy, JayNine nominated me for this award a while back and I am just getting to it.  Mea Culpa, sweetie.

Since I have been nominated for this award five times previous to this one, I am going to skip over the regular rules and do the one thing that JayNine asked me to…answer the questions she wrote for her nominees.

But, before I go any further, let me introduce you to JayNine.  She’s a mom, a blogger and a great person all rolled into one!  She’s got a site called J9’s Opinion and it’s always a fun read.  She also has adorable children and a love of life that shines through in her writing.  You should pay her a visit (fuzzy jammies are welcome) and find out what she has to say.  I believe you’ll be glad you did.

Now, on to the questions that she asked in her award post and my humble answers!

1.  Have you thought of an invention you wish you had shared, that someone else now has patented/created?

I can’t believe it…but the answer is YES!  A couple of sweltering summers ago, over a few beers, I told Danny that we should invent a way to stay cool while we are on our lanai.  I told him some sort of pillow that chemically cooled your bare feet was needed…after all, chill the feet and your body temp drops, right?  I was watching TV the other night and found out that someone had beat me to the punch!

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The Chill Pillow is exactly what I pictured my invention would be!  I could have been rich, I tell you!

2.  Have you had sex with a “best-friend” from the opposite sex and it ruined your friendship?

Hmmm…the opposite sex…No.  Enough said!

3.  Would you do me a favor?

Anytime, anywhere, any place.  However, it might take me a while to do it!

4.  Do you Pray?

Wow, confession time.  I do, but I’m afraid that I only do so when I really need something.  Awful, right?  No wonder God turns a deaf ear to my prayers!  I don’t blame her!

5.  Have you been to New York City in USA?

OH YEAH!  Many, many times.  I lived in Connecticut only an hour’s drive from the Big Apple and as a teen used to take a train into the city armed with a fake id!  Ah, to be young again.

6.  Truth or Dare?

I’ll take the Dare anytime!  I love a challenge and have been known to do some very crazy things on a dare!

7.  Have you ever called (or met with) a psychic?

No.  And why?  Because I’m scared of the future…already know the past…and really believe in ghosts so I worry that one will try to “talk” to me.

8.  What’s your secret to a Good Marriage?

Girl, you are asking the wrong person!  I’ve been married three times…none lasted longer than five years.  However, my relationship with Danny has always been built on trust and I believe that’s what you need to last 12 years together as we have.  Without trust, you have nothing!

9.  Which Celebrity do you dream of being intimate with? (LOL! I can’t believe I’m making this stuff up lol)!

It would be easier if you asked which Celebrity do I NOT dream of being intimate with!  Hmmm…I wouldn’t throw Brad Pitt out for eating crackers in my bed!

10.  What was the best gift you were ever given? (from any holiday)

The best gift I’ve ever gotten are my children.  Simple as that!  Without them, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today!

11.  Where are you in 5 years?

If I’m not pushing up daisy’s by that time, I plan on being on the road headed to my next book signing.

So, my friend, here are the answers you wanted!  Now, before I leave, I hope you will all visit JayNine and say “Hi.”  Tell her Grandma sent you!  And thanks again to a dear, sweet blogger that I always look forward to hearing from!

Love,

Cranky!

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Six Most Excellent Awards

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Wow…I received not one..not two…but six awards from Dan at Missing The Muse.  Thanks, my friend, and I feel these are quite special and am going to include them on my Awards Page.  Dan is on a kind of hiatus from blogging here…but he can be seen (alive and well) on his Facebook page.  Check him out…he’s very talented in many areas of the Arts and is definitely a Wordsmith extraordinaire!

So, as all awards go, we have some rules to follow to pass these wonderful awards on to others.  All my nominees deserve these six awards and many more.  All are excellent bloggers, writers, photographers and poets and I am feeling privileged that they share their works with me.

(1) Thank the person who nominated you!  “Thanks, Dan!”

(2) Do the Q&A below.  Look below…yeah…a little bit further…okay.

(3) Pass on the award to 10 – 12 deserving and inspiring bloggers, inform them and link to their blogs.  Okay, will do!

Questions to Answer:

Favorite colour? – Blue
Favorite animal? –  Dog
Favorite number?  -14
Favorite nonalcoholic drink?  –  Diet Pepsi
Favorite alcoholic drink? – Budweiser Lite
Facebook or Twitter? – All of them!
My Passions? – Writing, my family, and my blogging buddies.
Giving or Receiving Gifts? – I totally LOVE giving gifts…getting them usually makes me blush!

Whew, that’s the hard part.  Now for the nominees!

1.  We Drink Because We’re Poets – These awards go to the group of poets, storytellers and photographers that make up this great site.  Whenever you need some inspiration…jump on over and one of them will be sure to help you!

2.  Readful Things – Ionia is unique, interesting, funny and most of all, an excellent blogger.  Check out her site and be prepared to be wowed!

3. Musings Of An Old Fart – BTG is someone I feel is the Paul Harvey of our times.  His writings are informed, full of Americana and thought provoking!  When I think of Excellence…I thing of him.  Check his site and get the real low down on some of today’s issues!  I’m not sure he accepts awards…but I just had to add him!

4. Bashars Outpost – Okay, I don’t think Bashar accepts awards…but I’ve known him long enough and followed him with such delight that I couldn’t complete this list without his name on it.  His writings are direct…to the point…and often shocking!  He takes the liars, the cheats and the politicians of this world and holds them accountable!  But, he also makes me laugh and we’ve shared quite a few chuckles together!

5. GrannyK Reports – Granny K is my twin sister by a different mother!  Well, she could be! We share so many similar thoughts, observations and chuckles that we might have been meant to be twins but got mixed up in the last minute birth shuffle!  Anyway, Granny’s site is always a pleasure to read and I love her wit!  So, get over there and see what the other Grandma thinks about life!

6. Cubby’s Corner – Debbie Gies says it all with her tagline…”I am Me!”  She’s a wonderful writer and is kind enough to share her journey of self publishing with us.  Check out her corner of WordPress…it’s well worth a visit especially if you want to know more about self publishing.  She’s happy to help!

7. A Thankfully Imperfect Woman – Patty O is just like me…imperfect and proud of it!  Her posts are heartwarming and a real pleasure to read.  She’s down to earth and close to her faith…a perfect combination!

8. Dancing Thru Years – Bitty Girl’s site has it all.  Her thoughts, her trials and tribulations being a caregiver and some really awesome recipes!  She’s my age so we share a lot of the same experiences…and she shares my pain in being a caretaker.  So, hop on over and check her wonderful site!

9. The Vanilla Housewife – This mommy shares her life with her two kids and husband in a very funny, witty way.  I always enjoy reading about her family’s antics and her reactions to the world around her.  Grab a cuppa and a chair and drop in on a great blogger!

10. Making Meaning – Faeangel (Angela) does it all…poetry, art and great stories about her family.  Visit her neat little site and you’ll find she’s a pleasure to follow!  You’ll recognize her by her “inky” fingers!

11. Desiree – Juni Desiree is new to my site and each time I visit hers, I am enchanted.  She’s fresh, she’s bright and she’s a warm, compassionate young lady.  Check out her site and see why I love to visit her and hear her latest thoughts!

12. An Upturned Soul –  Ursula is another blogger that can do it all.  One look at her photographs will have you hooked.  She’s a great source of inspiration and deserves a visit! So, get over to her site and check it out!

Whew…I did it!  Just a note to all my nominees…there are “no strings attached” to these awards.  Please accept them as an acknowledgement for having enjoyable and interesting sites and for as recognition for your skills in entertaining your readers.  I hope you will pass them on to other bloggers and make their day but if time doesn’t allow that, at least take the following award buttons and post them on your site.  You deserve them!

To any bloggers that I haven’t included in this post or in previous award posts…please realize that I follow many, many bloggers and it’s impossible to list all of your most excellent sites…and I still have a load of awards to address so I might be saving you for one of those!

Congrats to all my nominees and another heartfelt thank you to Dan for nominating me for these awesome awards!

Cranky

Here’s the buttons you need to post to your sites:

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sunshine-award

reader-app-award

miraclebloggeraward

because-ur-fantabulous-award

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Enjoy them…you’ve earned them!

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Running To Catch Up

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This past weekend, I’ve been on a mission.  I’ll let you in on what I’ve been up to.

I was on my awards page to give it a facelift when I found to my horror that I have scads of awards I had yet to pass on.  So, I’ve dusted them off and decided to spend the holiday weekend sneaking into posts and collecting nominees.  After three days, I am now armed with a pile of blog sites and the commitment to pass on these awards over the course of this week.

I love receiving awards on this site and feel bad for the delay in passing them on…but time always seems to slip through my fingers.  So, I hope all my nominators will forgive my tardiness in meeting my duties with these awards of love and I hope my nominees will pass them on to other worthy bloggers.

So, each day, I intend to address at least one (hopefully more) award and do it justice.  I’ll post my first later on today and keep going until I’ve passed them all on! Wish me luck!

These awards won’t be in any particular order, so if you nominated me and I haven’t posted that award yet…hang on!  I promise to finish this mission this week!

Love,

Cranky

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