Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

Need a Laugh?

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I’ve been hard at work with revisions and need a break and a giggle.  Thought I’d share them with you.  Enjoy!

Love,

Cranky

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Writers Deux It With Words

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“PAS DE DEUX –  an intricate relationship or activity involving two parties or things”
Daily Prompt: Tagline
by michelle w. on June 19, 2013

Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?

A reader opens a book and prepares to join the writer in a literary dance.  The writer has set down the words, choreographed the setting, the characters and the plot for the reader to follow, step by step.  The reader is ready to be swept away with the story and joins the writer on the stage of words; dancing in time with the story. Together, they form a Pas de deux.

As writers, we open our imaginations, our thoughts and our views to our readers and invite them to join us in a one on one relationship for a short time.  We want to let them lose themselves in our fantasies, our stories or our poems.  We share our feelings in our words and when the words are right, the reader feels our emotions.  It is a wonderful thing when that happens.

So, if I had to pick a tagline for who I am, what I do and how I do it, I would choose “Writers Deux It With Words”.  For I use my words to invite the reader to join me in the dance.

And, we all want to dance, don’t we?

Photo credits: Lucinda Dunn and Robert Curran in Don Quixote. Photo Justin Smith

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Just A Hug!

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To All The Single Moms

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To all of those, like me, who had to do it alone!

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To All The Dads

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I think this says it all!

Love,

Cranky

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Some Of My Favorite Dads

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Today is a day for remembering our fathers and I wanted to do something a bit out of the ordinary.  I wanted to pay tribute to some of those “other” dads that I grew up with and loved to watch on television.  So, let’s talk a stroll back down memory lane and say “Happy Father’s Day”  once more to those dads.

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Andy Taylor – The Andy Griffith Show

Andy Taylor was a gentle, loving dad who always seemed to have the right words to guide Opie along the way.  And, he was wise enough to only let Barney have one bullet for his gun.

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Charles IngallsLittle House On The Prairie

Charles Engalls was a dad who worked hard to give his children a home and a set of values that they could carry with them through life.

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Bill Davis – Family Affair

Remember this dad?  Bill Davis was the ultimate bachelor until three kids showed up at his door.  Who still has their Mrs. Beasley doll?

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Steve Keaton – Family Ties

Steve Keaton was hip, he was now and he was environmentally friendly!  What’s not to love?

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Tom Corbett – The Courtship Of Eddie’s Father

Tom Corbett had his hands full with his son Eddie, who was always trying to “set up” his dad with potential wives.

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Ozzie Nelson – The Ozzie and Harriet Show

I loved Ozzie for his mellow, laid back approach to dealing with life and his two sons.  And, if we were lucky, Ricki would sing a tune or two.

Now, it’s impossible to list all my favorite television dads, but I do know that I spent many delightful hours watching them and enjoying the way they interacted with their kids.  So, to all the television “dads” out there, I salute you!

And, I want to wish all the real Dads out there a very Happy Father’s Day!

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Why I’ll Never Be A Famous Writer

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THE “KING” READING LEE CHILD’S “TRIPWIRE”

Ever since I could understand the written word, I have wanted to be a writer.

I am a consummate reader; I devour words and I spit them back out with a vengeance!  I’ve got the tools to string sentences together to make them readable and I have ideas that people seem to enjoy.  Instructors have told me that I have a natural talent for writing and that they believe I could reach the masses with my words.

So why is my dream of being a famous writer still a dream?

Well, I’ll tell you folks, it’s all due to PUNCTUATION!

I hate rules. Rules are made to be broken (notice I said rules, not laws, just in case you get the wrong idea!) And writing requires following the basic and not-so-basic rules of Punctuation! Ask any writing instructor or editor!

Why? I ask. Isn’t the content of the story what matters? Do editors even read the story, or do they stop at the first incorrect usage of a semi-colon? Why should it matter if I choose to throw in an unneeded comma here and there? Does it change the story?

I was taught how to follow the rules of punctuation…I just chose to ignore them. So, as a result, my English papers always contained those dreaded red ink messages from my teacher; my writing instructors did the same. Even my father, may he rest in peace, would send my letters back to me, CORRECTED! True fact!

My hero was my Nana, who only had a fourth grade education. She would send a two page letter, without a single piece of punctuation! Sure, it took longer to decipher her letter, but I considered it a challenge and loved her independence from the rules of punctuation.

But, alas, I am learning that in order to have a chance at getting any of my work published, I must follow the rules.  I have surrendered to the fact that I must edit my work carefully and make sure all the “i’s” are dotted and quote marks are in their proper places.  I must make William Strunk’s “The Elements Of Style” my new best friend or watch my manuscripts get thrown in the shredder.

I could hire an on-line editor, but they charge by the hour, and I’m sure not all of them are graduates of the “Evelyn Wood’s Speed-Reading Course.” Taking that easy way out would be too costly for a senior citizen on a limited income.

So, off I go to relearn those basic rules of punctuation.  Feel my pain and wish me luck.  If you’re a new and inspiring writer, sharing my dream of being a famous novelist, do yourself a favor.  Learn the rules!

Just saying.

Cranky

Author’s note:  This was also one of my first “rants” on WordPress.  I’ve made some changes since the original post…hope you enjoy!

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My Little Ugly Duckling

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Daily Prompt – 6/2/2013 – Silver Linings

It was June 22, 1970.

I was ready.  They wheeled me into the delivery room, poked me with needles and slapped a gas mask over my face.  It was time to deliver my baby.

A short time later, groggy and with no memory of the actual birth, I asked my husband where our baby was.  He smiled and said, “They’re cleaning our beautiful daughter up and then they’ll bring her in to meet us.”  He stood there, holding my hand and wiped tears from his eyes.

“It’s a girl?”

“Yes, honey.  And she’s beautiful.  I got to see her when they brought her to the nursery to get cleaned up.”

“She’s okay?”

“She’s gorgeous.  Looks just like you.”

A nurse appeared at the doorway, holding our bundle of joy that I had waited nine long months to meet.  She walked to the side of my bed, and laid my daughter in my left arm.  I turned my head and took my first look.

I gasped.  “Where’s my baby?” I shouted.  “This is not my baby..I ordered the Gerber baby.”

My husband and the nurse walked off to the side of the room and laughed.  I heard the nurse explain that I was still a little bit out of it with the gas I had sucked in.

Meanwhile, I stared at this being that they were pretending was my child.

She had thick, coarse black hair…a full head of it.  Her eyes were jammed shut and sported dagger like eyelashes that seemed to reach down to her nose.  Her dark, red face was scrunched up and all I could think of was that if you threw a sealskin coat on her, she could pass for an eighty year old Eskimo.

“Does she have her own snowshoes?” I murmured.

“What, honey?”  My husband returned to my side and grabbed my hand.

“Nothing.”  I’ve given birth to the ugly duckling, I thought, and prepared myself for the stunned stares of my relatives and friends when they saw my newborn child.

My tiny daughter flailed her clenched fists and then turned her head towards me.  I watched her as she smacked her lips and laid her cheek on my bare arm.  In that instant, I knew she was mine.  I felt the love flow from me towards this little being I had helped create and I was lost forever in the wonder of being this child’s mother.

She might not have the boys in the nursery lining up to sign her dance card; but to me, she was beautiful.

As time went by, my infant daughter grew into a beautiful baby..with creamy skin, deep azure blue eyes and silky brown hair.  She garnered oohs and ah’s from all who saw her.   Today, she is not only beautiful to look at, she has a beautiful heart.

But, if my little ugly duckling had never turned into the beautiful swan she is today, I would still think she was the most beautiful baby ever born.

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Woolly Bullys

Woolly Mammoth Replica in Museum Exhibit

In case you haven’t heard, the Russians have uncovered the remains of a Woolly Mammoth and they are as excited as hell.  They were able to extract blood from the remains and now feel that they can clone these gentle giants and bring them back into our world.

Hey, was I the only one who watched Jurassic Park I, II and III?  You know, the movie that showed the consequences of screwing around with Mother Nature.  Remember how that worked out for those scientists?

Let’s say we do find them a cold spot where they can breed and multiply and wander around freely.  Oh, they’ll be protected, they say.  Sure, just as the African Elephant is protected and is now on the brink of extinction.

I’ll bet poachers have huge dollar signs in their eyes now thinking about those humongous tusks the Mammoth wore with such pride.  I can see hunters drooling at the bit to bring down one of these magnificent creatures and adding them to their trophy room.

We should remember one of the reasons mammoths became extinct.  Because WE KILLED THEM!

To be fair to Fred Flintstone and his cohorts, the early settlers used all the fur, fat, bones and meat from the mammoth to feed and house their families.  We don’t need to add Mammoth Burgers to the McDonald’s Menu and we all know what happens when you wear a fur coat these days!  (Watch out for that paint!)

So, I think the scientists should leave these gentle, harmless, sweet creatures alone.  Let them rest in peace and keep their honored place in history.  If you really want to bring back an extinct species, try for the Dodo Bird.  Then these scientists would have something they could relate to!

Just saying!

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Those Were The Days

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1923 – 2013

Jean Stapleton

Actress Jean Stapleton, who we all remember as “Edith Bunker” in the groundbreaking television series, “All In The Family” died today at the age of 90.  She won three Emmys for her role as the loveable “dingbat” who played straight man to Carroll O’Connor‘s “Archie.

 Rest in Peace, Jean, you were always part of our family!

 

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