Grandma Says..

Observations and views from a different set of eyes

Undeserved Trust…Unbelievable Loss


Charish Perriwinkle

I watched the news yesterday, and once again, was disgusted to find that another small child had been abducted and killed by a registered sexual offender.  I shook my head as the details were reported on how this horrible man was able to get his hands on an innocent child.  Another unbelievable loss that never should have happened.

Charish Perriwinkle and her mother were shopping in a dollar store when a man, Donald James Smith, befriended the mom and offered to help her out by buying clothes at a local Wal-mart.  The three traveled to Wal-mart and had spent a couple of hours shopping when Smith suggested that he go get some burgers from the McDonald’s located in the store.  He offered to take Charish with him and then proceeded to walk with the child out the front door.

Charish’s body was discovered on the grounds of a church, where police had responded to a report of a suspicious van in the area.   A short time later, a policewoman spotted Smith’s van as it passed her and he was stopped and arrested on suspicion of murder.  Bail has been denied and he is awaiting trial.

As a mother, my first question was how could the mother let a complete stranger take her daughter away to be raped and killed?  How could she have trusted a man she knew nothing about whisk her child out of her life?  The Internet is screaming with condemnation of a mother who misplaced her trust and lost her child in such a horrific manner.

Before we judge her, however, we need to consider the man responsible for this crime.  Smith had a long history of sexual offenses and had just been released from prison on May 31.  He has been a registered sex offender since 1993.  He was convicted for attempted kidnapping and selling obscene materials.  Several arrests later, he was convicted on charges of child abuse when he made obscene phone calls to a ten year old girl.  He pled guilty to impersonating a public employee and aggravated child abuse by willful torture.  He served a year in the county jail until he was released in May.

This man was a predator, wise to the ways of appearing to be a stranger willing to perform a random act of kindness to a mother and her kids during hard times.  He wooed her with his offer of help for her kids and spent hours with her to build up an undeserved trust.  Yes, the mother made a fatal mistake when she agreed to have Charish accompany him to McDonald’s.  For all we know, the restaurant might have been in her view and she got distracted for a few minutes while Smith took her daughter out of her life forever.

This mother will have to live with the guilt and the torture of knowing that her one moment of giving a stranger her undeserved trust cost her daughter her life.  She has to live with that and feel the pain of her loss every day from here on end.  We don’t need to add to her grief by judging her for her mistake.

What we do need to do is question how this vile, despicable man with a long list of sexual offenses against children was released to commit such a heinous crime?  How many times does it take for a sexual predator to be arrested before he is incarcerated for life to prevent him from harming one more innocent child?

Evidently, the answer is when he finally rapes and murders an eight year old little girl and gets caught.

It has been proven, over and over, that pedophiles CAN NOT be rehabilitated.  It just isn’t possible, experts have said over and over again.  So, why are these sexual predators released, time and again, to hurt our children?  When are lawmakers going to wake up and start protecting our children and not the criminals who prey on the innocent?

I hope the answer comes before another mother places her undeserved trust in a stranger and winds up experiencing the unbelievable loss of her child.

This post is dedicated to Bloggers For Peace.  Check out a great site “I am for Change” – you won’t be sorry!


Just A Hug!





To All The Dads


I think this says it all!



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When There Are No Words


I sit here, filled with emotion and for once, I can’t find the words to describe what I am feeling.  I am a writer, words are my life, and yet I can’t seem to find the right ones that describe the sadness or the feeling of helplessness I am now experiencing.

I watch the news videos covering the destruction of Moore, Oklahoma and the loss of life that occurred when the tornado hit the small town.  And, I find myself without words.  The usual words sound empty and shallow compared to the pain these tornado victims are going through.  I guess there are no words that can describe the feelings we have when we witness such tremendous loss and agony.

We have seen so much pain in the past year.  Senseless murders of our children; horrific shootings of innocents; and terrorist attacks on our own lands.  But, these events are ones we can find the words for.  We have a villain; we can express our anger, our outrage, our quest for justice.

But, when the natural forces of nature destroys lives and levels a whole town in a blink of an eye; we have no one to rail at.  We feel impotent and unable to comfort those victims.  We have no one to blame and that leaves us feeling helpless and words feel inadequate.

There are some, who although they can’t find the words, are doing what they can to diminish the pain of these victims.  The social media is filling with an outpouring of love and support for the people of Moore. One woman posted on Facebook and offered to provide shelter and feed for horses that are now without stables.  She went further and has offered to pick them up and transport them to her farm.

Many of Moore’s neighbors in towns as far as 300 miles away are taking pictures of the victims’s memento’s and property that the tornado left in their yards.  They are posting these on Websites to enable people to retrieve valuables that they thought were lost forever.

Lost animals, found wandering and hungry, are being cared for and their pictures are being posted so owner’s can retrieve them.

With help from their fellow-man; the town of Moore will rebuild.  They have done it before and they will do it again..I have no doubt about this.

But, for now, while I look at a couple going through the rubble of what was once their home; when I watch the parents try to deal with the irretrievable loss of a child; I find myself without words.  And maybe that because there are no words strong enough to comfort these people.  Only by stretching out a helping hand, will they start to heal.

May those hands come quickly and soothe their pain.



Join Me Please


Please join me in sending our prayers, our thoughts and our hopes to the victims of the deadly tornado that has devastated Moore, Oklahoma.

Let’s pray that people will find their loved one’s safe and sound, let’s think about how we can send help and support for the victims and let’s hope that they find all the children still buried under the rubble of the elementary school, and all other survivors not located yet.

Let’s pray together for the families, for the rescue workers and for the volunteers and send them our love and support.  It is times like this that Americans should put aside all their differences and pull together to help these poor people.

Yes, let’s pray together.




My Wish

mothersdayanimation-stars-2graphics-mothers-day-570525I just want to wish all moms a very Special Mother’s Day and I hope the day brings loads of hugs, kisses and love!




ForThe Special Moms


Mother’s Day is just around the corner; kids are making handmade cards and gifts; dads are filling the stores looking for that “special” present and moms are pretending not to know their special day is near.  It’s time to thank those Moms for all they do for us.

I would like to take this chance to make my own personal greeting to a very special Mom and to other’s like her.  Very special mothers who have opened their hearts, their lives and their arms to another woman’s child.  These are extraordinary moms..and they deserve special recognition.

To the mother of my child, I want to thank you for filling his life with joy, love and hope.  When I surrendered my child, I dreamed that he would find a mother that would nuture him, comfort him and protect him.  You made that dream come true.

I might have given birth to my son; you are the one who made him what he is today: kind, loving and a son that any mother would be proud to call hers.  When he was scared, you held his hand; when he was sick, you nursed him back to health; and when he needed direction, you were there to guide him.

He is my child; he is your son.

My Mother’s Day Wish for you is that when your son wraps his arms around you, hugs you and wishes you a “Happy Mother’s Day”, that you feel the love I have for you in his embrace.  Thank you for being his Mom.

For all of you Moms, who have given your unselfish and unconditional love, as my child’s mom has, I send you my love, respect and wishes for a Very Happy Mother’s Day!

You are all Very Special Moms Indeed!




Enough Already!


Back in my drinking days, I learned a very valuable lesson.  You don’t talk about religion or politics in a bar, period.  It’s never gonna have a happy ending.  Well, I treat my blog site in the same way..I don’t put my religious or political views out there for debate.  My views on both are mine..I hold them close and personal.  So, there!

That said, I am going to break that rule today..and for today only.  Because, I have heard and seen enough about Gun Control that I want to gag!  Hundreds of posters on Facebook, pamphlets left on my door, and phone calls from advocates of one proposed Gun Law or another have all driven me to distraction. So, here goes!

I have to address both sides of this issue, it’s the way I roll.  So lets start out with my talking to those of you who are so scared that the government is going to take away your weapons.  I guess you’re missing the word Control in the phrase Gun Control Laws.

And, yes, control of the sale of guns has become necessary.  Too bad if you have to give up those semiautomatic you use to pulverize a deer with; sorry about your luck if you have to pass a more intensive examination prior to being given a weapon that has the capacity to kill a fellow human.

Guns are currently available to people that should never have a weapon in their hands; the mentally ill, drug dealers and those unable to handle the responsibilities that go with owning a gun.  So, if stricter control of the sale of guns will keep even one future killer from creating mayhem..then suck it up!

Now, for those of you sitting back smiling, thinking Cranky has just walked over to the side of those who want to abolish the right to own a gun..think again.  We are Americans; our right to bear arms is guaranteed in the Constitution of The United States.  Your attempts to take away those rights are just wrong.’re trying to limit one of our most fundamental rights that our forefather’s fought so hard for.

In your world, only military and law enforcement should be able to carry a weapon.  Huh!  Try using your pillow during a home invasion and see if that works from keeping those guys from harming you or your family.  Tell me that if your children are being threatened with bodily harm you wouldn’t use a gun to protect them.

You are trying to take away our right to defend our homes and families and that’s just not gonna happen!  We need to get illegal weapons off the streets; we need to have the right to have legal protection in our homes.

So, there you are!  Cranky thinks that both sides are right..and both sides need to start making some concessions regarding Gun Control Laws.  There is no easy answer to these issues.  All we, as Americans, can do is educate ourselves and sanely vote for bills that promote a safer world and ensure our rights are not trampled on.

Now, I’m not done!  I want to speak to each side separately.

To those idiots who have posted their children’s pictures on Facebook while holding semi-automatic weapons..all I can say is Really?  Way to go, Mom and Dad.  That sure is gonna swing my vote your way.  Do you really think pictures like that promote your cause?

And to the other side of the group, I am ashamed of you.  Using tragedies such as Newton and Colorado to bring people over to your side of the fence is so wrong on so many levels.  These tragedies were committed by mentally unbalanced individuals who happened to have used semi-automatic weapons.

I would love to see the money spent on Gun Control advertising, pro or con, used for mental health facilities and resources.  Let’s admit we need to address the lack of mental health facilities and resources for those battling mental illness.  Let’s get them off the streets and give them some help understanding and help dealing with their demons.

Let’s throw some of that money towards our beleaguered law enforcement people so they can get the criminals and drugs off our streets along with the illegal weapons. Let’s use intelligence and not hysteria to make these things happen.  Because truthfully, I’ve had enough!

Now, I’m done and as usual, I’m just saying!


Call Me A Dreamer

Recent events have left a lot of us shell-shocked.  It seems like one bad dream after another became reality.  We have lost innocent lives in war and on our home shores.  We’ve had a hell of a lot to deal with and it seems that just when the healing begins from the effects of one horrific act; another attack occurs.

We shake our heads with disbelief; we pray for an end to the madness and we mourn for those lost to us forever.

But, I still dream.  I dream of a world where we look upon our fellow man and hold out a hand in friendship.  I dream of our children growing up in a world filled with kindness, not suspicion and hate.  I dream that we finally achieve world peace and find peace within ourselves.

Now, I’m not naive.  I know that this is a dream that will take many future generations to achieve.  But, I believe it’s a dream that can come true if we really want it to.  If each person takes a few minutes out of each day to perform a random act of kindness then we get a little bit closer to that dream.

I found a video that shows the effects of one single act of kindness.  You might have seen it before; I think you might want to watch it again; it’s a video that makes me hope that someday my dream will become a reality.

One of my favorite John Lennon songs “Imagine” says it best:

You, you may say

I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

I hope some day you’ll join us

And the world will be as one.

Let’s work together to make that dream come true.

This post is dedicated to Bloggers For Peace and to one of my fellow peaceniks, Sun at “Simply Charming.”  Check out her really makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside!


The FBI Needs Our Help


Moments ago, the FBI released pictures of two men suspected in the Boston Marathon Bombings.  Hopefully, someone will recognize these men and call the FBI.  If you do see them, don’t try to apprehend them..they are considered armed and dangerous!  Let’s find these cowards!


Anyone with information, call your local FBI office or your local law authorities.



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